cages

many of my words
are from a time
when I lived free
and natural
as a happy animal
on the earth
even though I wasn't really free
I lived in a cage
no one else could see
and which I ignored
except when I got caught
in its razor sharp wire mesh
from time to time

I have since come to know
and maybe I always knew
that there has always been, will always be
a cage

I have known many:

my parental home
was built to keep me safe,
but when I tried
to explore outside it
I was punished

poverty
served to keep me human
and gave me my adult soul

the cage, you see,
is not protection
or punishment
it's just the shape
of every day

another cage:
marriage
not a good marriage
not a real marriage
only that cage
of hidden razor wire

inside
I could prowl about
feel the dirt
smell all the leaves
savor all love
and every fragrant forest breeze

and I could pretend that I was free
and I became free
except when my keeper chose to punish me
once for being in the cage
then again for thinking
acting
appearing
as though I'd slipped its bounds
and never would be back

my cage now
is that I'm here
in this unnatural place
where no one seems alive
where the breezes
taste like benzine
where others peer
at me
like I'm a zoo animal
even though they look at me
from their various parts of smaller cages
well inside my own

in my cage
I am loved
and protected
like a pet with one cool trick
and a plush pelt
while all the other animals
in their tiny boxes in my box
think me fierce
and terrifying
unpredictable and undomesticated

maybe they fear I'll get into their cages
maybe some fear I might actually find a way out

by Sara, copyright 2002, all rights reserved